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| 10:09am 19/07/2006 |
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this journal is not public. if you want to be added, comment and i will most likely add you! |
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| you tried to recreate normandy but you made up the reason to fight |
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| 12:03pm 01/03/2006 |
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this vacation has been extremely boring thus far. i have worked every day. i am going to my father's house this weekend. i need to see louisa lauher.
i got into UNH, and into honors, and a scholarship. i don't want to go. i am really thinking that UVM is the right place for me. i think i would fit in really well there, and it makes me happy. plus they are willing to give me 13,500 each year, which brings the cost down to about 17,500. way cool. blahblahblah. vermont is amazing. and they like my politics. so it's all good.
twenty days in a concrete fallout
what life have i to take your own?
oh my country won't you call out
doorbells are ringing with boxes of bones
from another land's war-torn corners
to a prison cell in my own
punish me for not taking your orders
but don't lock me up for not leaving my home |
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| 11:49pm 28/01/2006 |
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this journal is not open to the general public. if you wish to be added, comment and i will probably do so! |
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| 08:44pm 09/11/2005 |
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mood: awake music: mazzy star
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apparently i am the "bohemian dyke." muahahaha.
sucks to your auntie.
still missing CTY, after reminiscing constantly today, getting nightswimming stuck in my head, looking at pictures, and talking to CTYers. i swear i will never get over this, but i don't even know if i want to.
that was SO emo. sorry.
AP bio is amazing. i wish i could just have that class all day. |
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| 03:25pm 07/11/2005 |
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mood:  blah music: nada surf- always love
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although we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid.
unless we don't adore them at all.
tomorrow i must take the frankenstein test and the calculus quiz. i heard this about both of them: "it wasn't that bad, but i think i failed." encouraging.
dad's house this weekend.
i have decided that the only advantage to being just-turned-17 is that it is quite illegal for me to work at midnight on a school night, and therefore i can go to the midnight showing of harry potter.
my head hurts. |
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| would i could afford to buy my love a fine robe |
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| 11:45pm 04/11/2005 |
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mood:  peaceful music: the decemberists (i am hooked)
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gah. i really have nothing to write, but i will do so anyway.
i love AP biology. yupyupyup.
i did not go to school yesterday or today.
there was gum on some cabinet doors at cinemagic tonight and i really want to know how it got there. it was terrifically amusing.
there are only three more years until we get to pick a new president. and voting will possibly be the most exciting thing ever. however, if we end up with another idiot, i swear i am moving.
but wait! where does the phosphate come from?!? just steal it!!
i love a lot, but i think i might have to give up on romantic love with males. they just don't like me and i don't want to have to deal with it. PLEASE do NOT comment and say, "but boys DO like you..." because they don't.
my poor dog is all sick. she threw up and had a shit explosion all over wednesday morning, then had to be outside all day wednesday and couldn't walk thursday, and went to the vet today and is now on antibiotics and "doggie aspirin."
my lj entries are like a whole day's worth of suppressing ADD rolled into a couple paragraphs. i apologize for complaining and being incoherent.
haha. i made it sound like my dog pooped on wednesday morning. like wednesday morning was sitting on the floor and she came over and had a literal shit fit on it. as if it were a physical entity. oh crap i need to stop typing now. |
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| 04:28pm 01/11/2005 |
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mood:  discontent music: radiohead- karma police
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someone told me today that my emotions are like a sine wave. sorry if it bothers you.
this is what you get when you mess with us... |
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| 09:22pm 30/10/2005 |
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mood:  good music: the decemberists
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there are angels in your angles
there's a low moon caught in your tangles
love. |
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| before i know it i'm going down a little bitty river in a boat a little bigger than a bathtub |
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| 01:38pm 27/10/2005 |
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mood:  frustrated music: dispatch
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i am very angry and very sad. i think i need to leave high school and most of the people in it right now. people just piss me off. certain people always have it easy, teachers always give them special treatment, their work is late all the time, and nothing happens. i work like a maniac and get worse grades. so FUCK YOU. DO NOT complain to me, because i don't want to hear it. seriously. your life is not hard at all, and neither is mine or those of most other people at this school. people need to stop complaining about their "hard" lives and get over themselves. yes, everyone needs to do work for school. EVERYONE IS IN THE SAME POSITION. we all need to apply to college. we all had a fucking senior research paper due this week. we all need about 4 more hours of sleep a night than we are getting. we all have to balance extra-curriculars, work, and school. don't complain to people who are in the same predicament as you, because it means nothing to them. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYONE IS SO OBSESSED WITH SCHOOL. it really doesn't matter anymore. yes, colleges look at first semester grades, but they aren't nearly as important as those in other years. THE WORLD WILL NOT STOP TURNING IF YOU GET A BAD GRADE. i am so happy at this time when i am by myself, but the second i talk to other people the happinesss goes away. why am i happy? US history will never torture me again. i am doing fairly well in school. over half of my college applications are done. i have found that i don't need an A in everything to be satisfied, and if other people would realize this, they would be SO MUCH HAPPIER. do you want a "good" GPA, or do you want to be happy? if you measure your life in GPA, rank, and grades, you will never be happy. want to be happy? go listen to sublime. i guarantee that will make you happy. or, in rare cases in which people don't like sublime, listen to something that makes you happy. i live by brian's essay. although it would never get him into college (the only reason anyone does anything now), it totally captured how i feel about sublime, and i like that other people feel this way. because i felt for a while that i was the only one taking life as it comes and being happy. i just wish people would stop whining enough to realize that they have pretty good lives.
sorry about the length and incoherence.
note: i don't think this is directed at anyone that reads my journal, so whatever. |
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| 02:57pm 26/10/2005 |
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mood:  amused
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mrs. krolikowski is crazy. and not in a good way. |
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| 04:43pm 25/10/2005 |
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mood:  annoyed
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if you see me panicking and working furiously on physics in cafe study the period before the stuff is due, DO NOT come up to me and relate your latest long, boring story or make me help you with your homework.
this public service announcement has been brought to you buy the physics-challenged student named adrianna.
sorry if i sound bitch-tastic. |
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| 07:03pm 24/10/2005 |
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mood:  calm music: nothing
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my research paper is done.
PV=nRT
i have little to say.
*******
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
william carlos williams
i have always loved that poem. |
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| 07:26pm 23/10/2005 |
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mood: annoyed
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my friends love me so fucking much.
::sarcasm:: |
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| a whole bunch of quizzy things |
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| 01:39pm 21/10/2005 |
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mood: awake music: 'spatch
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as of tomorrow, i can give blood. this makes me happy.
now for the dullness:
| Your Monster Profile | 
Undead Nightmare
| Your 1920's Name is: | 
Wilhelmina Zelda |
| Your Birthdate: October 22 | 
While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings.
You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion.
Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings.
Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma.
An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail.
You are very aware and intuitive.
You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension. |
the end! |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| before i lose my mind |
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| 01:25pm 20/10/2005 |
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mood:  cranky music: dispatch- questioned apocalypse
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guidance needs to die. i went there today to check on my transcripts and such, and the lady said, "oh...we must have lost them." yeah. turns out, my guidance counselor had "so much work to do" that she couldn't get them done but now they're finally done and they will go in the mail this week.
i wrote a note:
dear guidance:
FUCK YOU.
love, adrianna
i did not send it.
i feel so mean lately. i think all of my friends think i hate them, and it's just that i'm really tired. so sorry if i was mean to you, i certainly didn't mean it.
and i hate when my friends call me for help and i can't help. sorry about physics, i just didn't care enough to actually do the problems.
i guess this post is a big huge SORRY.
but i am going to margarita's tonight and having bad-for-you mexican food.
oh, and i listened to flying horses by dispatch today and thought of CTY and cried a tiny little bit. it was a combination of that and guidance when i still thought my transcripts and recommendations were lost in the abyss of paper. |
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| 02:24pm 17/10/2005 |
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mood:  contemplative music: none
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so shoot me if you disagree, but i think this might be a valid thought.
i do not like the idea of celibate priests one bit. NO ONE should have to be celibate. and i know that they chose to enter into the priesthood, but no one can really understand what it is like to have to be celibate when they haven't been. and i know they can leave the priesthood if they so choose, but many don't. and this is where the problem starts.
having sex is a basic physical need and instinct. whether it be with a member of one's own gender or of the opposite gender, we all have a physical, mental, and emotional drive to have sex. when a physical instinct is not fulfilled sufficiently, people do strange things. there are several cases of starving people (say, on an exploration or something) who end up killing their companions and eating them, a practice which they would (hopefully) not normally perform. the same goes for sex. when people are denied the ability to do this, weird things happen. things such as molesting children.
i don't understand why society and religion always seem to frown upon something as pure as sex. from childhood we have been taught that sex is bad if you have it before marriage. certainly, it can have unpleasant consequences if it is not done responsibly, but apart from that, it is a natural, beautiful thing. some, from a religious standpoint, will say that sex leads to sin: adultery, etc. NOT having sex also leads to sin: i.e. molesting people.
why do members of the clergy have to be celibate, or at least pretend to be? they obviously haven't all been...popes have fathered countless children. i don't understand why something like sex is continually frowned upon, whereas celibacy, something completely unnatural, is praised. |
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| 11:45pm 15/10/2005 |
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mood:  giggly music: NOTHING!!!
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working doubles is pretty much my new favorite thing. i fucking love cinemagic. i was absolutely exhausted by 6ish tonight, so everything became funny, i turned into a "monster" who has "completely lost it," and i am sitting here giggling about "monster" and "completely lost it." so amusing. then people would not shut up on the walkie talkies, and i couldn't stop laughing again, and i couldn't hear a word any customer was saying. and then, at the end, as so-so schilko (sorry, but i was adequate today) was busy dropping everything in the building, the power went "fwoom" and everything went out and people came out of the theaters and it was amusing.
this is possibly the worst lj entry i have ever written.
oh yeah! i also tried to pour butter into the machines with the cap on after initially throwing the cap away and picking it out of the trash. but the cap was only resting on top, so if i hadn't stopped, it would have fallen into the butter and that would've been GROSS. i also neglected concession 1 every time i did stuff: napkins, straws, butter, etc. then i was like, "why doesn't concession 1 have anything?!?" then alex said that i had "completely lost it" and i heard "she's a monster," and it was funny.
again, worst lj entry ever. my grammar and stuff is horrible right now because i can't stop laughing. i feel like an idiot sitting here laughing all by myself. |
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| distance is short when your hand carries what your eye found |
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| 11:47pm 14/10/2005 |
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mood:  drained music: dispatch- elias
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i just ate about a quarter of a bag of chocolate chips and drank diet coke. caffeine much?
double tomorrow!
in other news, if simoes taps his foot the entire time we are reading beowulf, i think i might go bonkers. there is no way i am reading beowulf in the anti-rhythm that is mr simoes's foot tapping. plus, there is a large phallic symbol on the front cover (at least of the version of the cover i have) which is incredibly distracting. but frankenstein isn't too bad. i think the worst part is the fact that we are reading frankenstein, reading beowulf, and writing our research papers SIMULTANEOUSLY. this eliminates the possiblity of effective time management. do you hear me? ELIMINATES!!!
ew. a word of advice: do NOT eat chocolate chips by themselves. you will get thirsty and then sick.
and let the poor popcorn bags out of the cabinet, damnit! |
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| 08:43pm 12/10/2005 |
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mood:  cold music: damien rice
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Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle I Limbo customers
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind people who listen to sucky music so loud that others can hear it through the headphones
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow hypocrites
Circle IV Rolling Weights Creationists
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled River Styx Republicans
Circle VI Buried for Eternity River Phlegyas pro-lifers
Circle VII Burning Sands homophobes
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement George Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice Design your own hell
yes. |
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| 04:49pm 11/10/2005 |
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mood:  crazy music: none
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let's just say that if mr simoes died i would not be the least bit sad.
ahahahaha but little does he know, i care not about my research paper! let him give me a big, honkin' FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
for FANTABULOUS!
because if i get an FFFFFF on this research paper, my life will not be over! i will go to college! i will learn stuff! i will listen to music! i will dance! i will be happy!
so mr simoes can just hate my paper and hate me, and while he is doing all of his hating, i will love.
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
is all you need. |
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despite_my_rage's journal